‘Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.’
It’s the last day of school holidays and we have a bit of a tradition in our house where the girls and I have a girls day out together. So today we went to the Mall for lunch, a bit of shopping and a movie. It’s all very exciting for my two little divas.
Our day was great fun. The movie was thoroughly enjoyed. Lunch of sushi and Yoghurt Story for dessert received a big thumbs up. There was only a couple things wrong with our perfect day and they were because of other people. Fellow mamas that to be honest, I always expect more of.
When we got organised this morning, the girls dressed themselves. They do a good job of it and as long as it’s weather appropriate I generally just go with the flow on their choices. While I was applying a little make up in the bathroom Trilly had decided to apply her own red lippie. I chose my battles wisely and to be honest the fight to take the lippie off would not have been worth it and so we left with her gorgeous ruby lips on show.
We were waiting in line for our movie tickets when I overheard the lady with two gorgeous children behind me say to her friend ‘hardly an age appropriate outfit’. I only assume it was directed at us because we were the only other people waiting in the queue and she was right behind us. I brushed it off. Maybe she wasn’t speaking about one of my girls anyway and the girls didn’t hear so no real harm done.
Eating our sushi in the food court was a different story. A charming lady deemed it appropriate to let me know that lipstick on MY 4 year old was disgusting and inappropriate. I normally have words, many even but I was speechless. I was speechless for many reasons, the first being it’s none of her business. Again, I am assuming this woman is a fellow Mother (because she had children with her) and as a mother she should know better. Trilly heard her words and what riles me the most is that she had no right to make my 4 year old feel the way her words did. Trilly insisted I take her to wash off the lippie because ‘she is disgusting’ with it on. Trilly cried, her shoulders slumped, her confidence visibly knocked.
While I am a firm believer that we are entitled to our own opinions, there is our opinions and there is cruelty. I’d like to know what this women was hoping to achieve. Would she have been upset had the roles been reversed and she then had to console her young daughter? Did she consider the windfall of her actions and did her words provide any enrichment in the lives of either party? As a mother does she think 4 is too young to have to try explain the harshness of the world and some of its people? Did she even consider my 4 year old daughter sitting there or was she just so hell bent on letting me know her opinion of my mothering skills?
To the woman in the food court I’d like to say to you, please think before you open your mouth. The words that come from it have the ability to build someone up or tear them down, especially a child. Perhaps worry more about your own life instead of inflicting your opinion on those that have not asked for it. I will mother my way and you can mother your way. I will not judge you and I’d hope you would not judge me because at the end of the day we are on the same side. Just doing our best to raise the best little humans we can.