I remember Miss’s first day at school. I fought back tears as she entered school full of excitement. I went to the car when the 9am bell rang and cried like a baby. I watched the clock, counting down the hours until pick up time and then sat out the front of school from 2.40pm just waiting.
Trilly starts school next Friday and the feelings are back. Just this morning I fought back tears as I organised to bring her a birthday cake on her last day at kindy, her actual 5th birthday. However, this time I won’t let Trilly see me sad, I won’t let her realise how hard it is for me because she is excited and she deserves me to be excited for her.
It’s not about her leaving me and not having her by my side every afternoon. It’s bigger than that. It’s the realisation that she is moving on to that next step. That step that involves me having to start letting go. She is no long my baby, we are passed that now. She is becoming my independent young child. So a letter for her memory box is a birthday must.
Next week you are FIVE! That is a big milestone in my mummy book. It is the start of a whole new chapter in both our lives. Me, the mother of two big school girls and you, the new big schoolgirl. A new exciting step for all of us.
I am so proud of you. Your eagerness to learn and your fierce strive for independence. Your cheeky personality and sense of humour already apparent. You are so tough, yet so gentle and kind. I have heard you stand up to other children your age as they are overly assertive with you and you do it with kindness that I don’t think I could have ever taught you. It is natural to you to assert yourself but to do it kindly.
You were once so shy, painfully shy. Uncle Hayden once babysat you for the night and you cried for so long when we left that you fell asleep on the kitchen floor. He left you for fear you’d wake up and cry again. You have grown so much and now I see you rush at kindy to sign up for saying the prayer.
Ever since you discovered you could hold a cup yourself your quest for independence has been strong. You toilet trained at 15months because you refused to let me put a nappy on you and you couldn’t figure out how to do it yourself, so knickers and the toilet were your only option. You are always wanting to help me with everything and when I say no you reply ’but how will I learn?’
You are fearless. Sometimes this worries me as you sprint towards the ocean or go full accelerator on your motorbike. You are going to learn some tough lessons about the importance of caution but these are your lessons to learn and until I am ready for you to learn them I will continue to do my best to protect you. I can’t help it, it’s my job.
I want you to remember to treat everyone as you would like to be treated. This is my biggest wish. The world needs more kindness and I know you can be it. As you go through school you will encounter some mean people, it’s inevitable but kill them with kindness. They are the ones that need it most.
I cannot wait to cheer you on at school cross country, athletics days and swimming sports. I cannot wait to see both my girls on stage for the school productions and to sit proudly at prize-giving’s for you both. I can’t believe how quick our early years have flown past but I am excited for the next part of our lives.
Love always and forever,
Ps. In about a month’s time you are going to tell me you hate school that you don’t want to go and it’s dumb. So before we get there let’s make something clear, this is you for ATLEAST the next 10 years, I will most likely enforce that you stay at school for the next 12years. So get used to it. Suck it up Princess. You and your sister can commiserate together now. School is your future and you need it.